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An explanation.

10 July 200905:12PMlifeintrospection

Hey! This post is really old. You should take it with a grain of salt.

Okay, after last night's post, I feel that an explanation is in order. No, it isn't some weird confession about how something happened and blah blah blah. It's nothing so interesting. Just a justification of why a post like that turned up in the middle of the night, apparently unbidden.

I got emails from my parents, you see asking to see if I was alright. The answer: Categorically yes. Everything is fantastic and good and spiffing. Right. Now that's out of the way.

Secondly, as I said, nothing has happened and/or not happened to prompt this. It was just this weird thought that popped into my head late at night and seemed to disappate the instant I hit the submit button. Probably a combination of exhaustion and being somewhere weird messed up my brain for a bit. No idea why.

It wasn't meant to be as blunt as it ended up, the idea was more subtle, but subtlety goes out the window a bit at midnight, so it is the way it is. It doesn't mean I hate everything I do, like it might imply, just a slight disquiet that maybe I could do a bit more with what I do. It came out as a scream of despair, a bit. Sorry if it caused you any worry.

So in conclusion, yes, I am fine. What I wrote was one of those weird fleeting feelings you get at midnight but I just happened to have a keyboard in front of me so it got typed. I like it though. Even if it's less dire than I wrote, its still something that a lot of people feel - including me sometimes - and possibly can't express as well as they like. So it stays.

(I commented almost immediately afterwards that the post was severely lacking in a sense of humour. That's how late it was... it takes a lot to stop me trying to be funny.)

And I'm left wondering if it's just me who has weird, scarily accurate self- reflective thoughts when it's late at night. I'm guessing not.


< I'm Sick of sucking. Not a big post... >