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[Entry 1] Airports are weird.

29 November 201007:26AMepic-triptravel

Hey! This post is really old. You should take it with a grain of salt.

So I promised Haydn I'd write stuff, every day, but so far I haven't been anywhere interesting yet so I'm going to go off on something of a tirade about airports. Because airports are weird. For instance, I've spent the last few hours in Singapore, but not actually in Singapore, cause we haven't gone through customs. Technically, I'm not anywhere. Which is a bit weird, but the thing is, I'm pretty sure the airports are designed to make you feel that way too. People have a nasty habit of calling airports (I keep wanting to type aerports, cause of how you spell aeroplane, but it's not, it's airports) 'small cities', but they aren't anything like a city. Cities have people who live in them. Sure, at any one time an airport might have as many people living in it as a small city, and have more shops than a city, and handle more cash than a city, and have as many different nationalities present as a city, but nobody lives there.

And speaking of nationalities, ever notice how every airport everywhere in the world is essentially the same? Sure, you have differences in size and expensiveness and carpet quality, but they're all basically the same. It's like someone took a shopping mall and inflated it to the size of, well, a small city, but everywhere in the world. Chairs, shops, chairs, shops, chairs, shops, gate, shops chairs, shops, chairs, toilet, chairs.... oh gods, so many chairs... HOW DO I STOP THE CHAIRS!! And the signs. Always in the same languages, or subset thereof... hold on, how about a design-your-own airport sign language thing? I'm bored, so lets go.

  1. Pick either English or your local official local language(s). You will write all the words big in this language.
  2. Whichever language you didn't pick for the first step goes as a 'subtitle' - larger than the others but smaller than your big words.
  3. Pick any three of: [Chinese / French / German / Japanese / Arabic ]
  4. Add one more 'regional' language, that isn't your native language but comes from a nearby country. Any one will do.
  5. Maybe throw some Azerbaijani on there for good measure. Y'know, to show how multicultural n'stuff you are.
  6. Slap on an internationally recognized arcane symbol.
  7. Congratulations! You've just made your very own airport sign!

AND there was this guy behind us on the plane, who had dyed black emo-ish hair but sounded exactly like Matt's boyfriend Sam. He had a total love-fest for The Expendables, and insisted that everyone he was flying with (some friends and someone I assume was his girlfriend by how intimate they were getting, but might've been his sister (!?) how much they should watch it on the TV things in the seatbacks. I watched it for about five minutes. It was crap. I watched Despicable me instead, which was really really good. They totally had a whole season of The IT crowd and Doctor Who as well. [insert reminiscence about remembering when they had tapes and only one screen at the front and had to stop it to rewind and just played Finding Nemo over and over and over and over... They still have Finding Nemo, by the way. It must come bundled with the in-flight-entertainment system or something, cause they always have it. Always.] In the seat in front there was this girl with a kid, and they kept switching back and forth between English and some other language, which I thought was French but didn't understand at all. I thought it might be German cause I heard them say 'ja' (like ya), which the French don't use, but it didn't sound German either. Maybe Ikean?

So back to the present moment. We're in the Singapore Air business class lounge because Dad, being Dad, upgraded himself using some frequent flyer points he scrounged up, but didn't upgrade me. Anyway, it's really nice, but there are these two maybe-arab, maybe-african, maybe-indian guys who just walked in and are talking really loudly. And while there are no rules per se about speaking quietly, everyone (literally everyone) is glaring at them for doing it, and they're just taking no notice. And one of them is carrying a toy helicopter for some reason. Business travellers? Most of business class is just that - business types. I think I saw one other couple who were holidaying, cause they had these big rucksack things, and were smiling instead of looking all grim. But everyone else here is all suit-laptop-briefcase, which is a bit offputting when you're in jeans and a t-shirt.

I just realised I've written about a page about everything I see in front of me in a freaking airport. Imagine how excited I'll be once we actually get somewhere! Travelling- it's kinda like that.

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