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Wot I Did On My Birthday, By Rockwell McGellin, Age 18

21 January 201112:53PMlife

Yes, I turned 18 today. Legally, I can now enrol to vote, sign a contract, get married, buy a lotto ticket, get a PayPal account, watch an R-rated movie, drink, smoke, own a firearm... the list goes on. Several of these things I have already done. For example, my mum bought me a lotto ticket for my birthday. Way to responsibly introduce me to adulthood, mum. I also printed out an enrolling-to-vote form and filled it out, and I've been trying all day to sign up for a PayPal account but they keep telling me that I have to be 18, even though today is my 18th birthday and they know it.

I am doing all this because the supposed rite-of-passage of being able to buy alcohol has been barred from me by the fact that it would be bad for my currently shell-shocked liver. It'll make a good story though... I imagine the conversation will go something like this:

Person: "Duuuuude, what did you like do for your like 18th?"
Me: "Nothing much. I had hepatitis."
Person: "Duuuuude, did you have like a pimping party?"
Me: "No, I was sick with hepatitis."
Person: "Duuuuude, did you like go clubbing instead then?"
Me: "No, my birthday was in January so there was nobody to go with, and in any case I had hepatitis."
Person: "Duuuuude, you didn't get totally crunk?"
Me: " you even know what hepatitis is? It is a disease of the liver, also known as_ that organ which processes the poison which is alcohol so that you don't die from being pickled from the inside out._ So no, I did not get crunk. Which isn't even a word anyway."
Person: "Duuuu-"
Me: "Shut the f*** up."

Actually, in real life, it would probably go more like:

Person: "What did you do for your 18th?"
Me: "I was sick"
Person: "Oh. That sucks"
Me: "Yes. Yes it does."

End of Conversation.

Anyway. For my birthday, we went out for breakfast to The Witch's Cauldron (which does breakfast, apparently), and had pancakes with nuts in, which I didn't even know existed, and were delicious. I got a new backpack, which you can tell just by looking at it cost more than $5, which is how much I usually spend on a backpack. Then again, my backpacks usually last about 2 months before disintegrating into an unrecognisable loosely-connected mound of straps and polyester fabric, after leaving fragments of black stuff all over anything I put in it for weeks beforehand. So it'll be nice to be able to cancel my bi- monthly trip to Red Dot. I also got a book on money management from dad, which is probably the most useful thing I got in the long run, since even the best backpack wears out, but I really do know absolutely bugger all about money.

And from my mum...

Cufflinks. Made of typewriter keys. With my initials on the keys.

Totally. Freaking. Awesome.

Over the preceding week mum sort of doled out a present every day, mostly the T-shirts and socks and undies type ones, and a Tolkein (as in Christopher, the Professional Descendant) book (I like the fact that I got an e-book reader and still got a hardcover book from the same parent... The kindly is awesome, but books are too nice to not have.) (too many brackets, sorry.)

I didn't do a lot else for the rest of the day. I had sushi for lunch, and mum bought me a birthday cake at the shops, with nuts on it (nuts, it seems, are a recurring theme for this birthday.) And I played a bit of TF2, and got some more DVDs from The List, and then this evening I just got back from the Arts enrolment information evening at UWA, which didn't tell me anything I hadn't already figured out, except that Arts was definitely the right choice, and that picking units is going to be a very difficult choice. I should probably mention that I got into Arts (Communication Studies) at UWA in order for the preceding sentence to make sense.

And that was my 18th birthday. I'd planned this awesome thing with a jet boat and then we were going to go to Fremantle and get fish and chips and then maybe see a movie and then maybe go to timezone and then go to some kind of pub where I could order a drink and laugh at everyone else who isn't 18 and generally make an awesome deal about it, but that did not happen. The moral of this tale is to get vaccinations before you go overseas.

Hip hip! Hooray!

< The List. Some accidental analysis. >