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Kit Tea.

11 August 201110:29AMtea

It's common knowledge that, despite running amazing events like Humans vs. Zombies, the UWA student guild are diabolical bastards when it comes to their monopoly on food. Seriously? Sixty cents for some boiling water?? Come on.

Hence, my latest project: using only the microwaves supplied in Guild cafes apparently for the sole purpose of being used by commerce students nuking a whole frickin' meal over about ten minutes, find a way to produce a decent cup of tea. Once perfected, the process can easily be adapted to other boiling- water based beverages and snacks, including (but not limited to) such delights as packet Mi Goreng, Milo, or soups (beverage or snack? YOU DECIDE!).

But baby steps. Let's focus on getting tea down first:

Assuming we want our water to be pretty close to boiling, some calculations turn up this:

Science: Still got it, bitches.

So. 87 seconds? That's a lot less than I was expecting. It's certainly a lot less time than the commerce students spend heating the entire contents of their bag. Excellent.

Let's test it.

Don't let its looks deceive you: If my calculations are correct, that water is at least ninety degrees.

Right. Having performed the totally scientific test of sticking my finger in it, I can confirm that it is indeed pretty dang close to boiling. Something interesting happens when I put the teabag in though: Loads of little bubbles form a sort of foam on the surface. This isn't actually entirely unexpected: it's a Well Known Science Fact™ that if you microwave distilled water and then put something in it you'll get a big ol' explosion. I imagine that this is a slightly lesser version of the same effect.


Now to pack it. Carrying milk around would not be super practical, so I raid the pantry, looking for something a bit more portable. I stumble across this stuff called powdered milk, which is, surprisingly enough, exactly what it says on the tin. Matt says it tastes like fart, but when I actually put it in the tea it tastes pretty damn close to actual tea, so I'm calling this a win.

Not too shabby.

So, we'll put some of this stuff in an old film canister we had lying around, do the same with some sugar (later I'll grab some sugar sachets from a cafe, but this'll do for now) and stick the teabags in an eclipse tin. This is the result:

Now that nobody uses film any more, these things are, like, super rare.

That's the actual 'tea' bit done. Now all I need is a mug made of something light, microwavable, and durable enough to survive in the bottom of my bag. Plastic should do. It might also be a good idea to add a water bottle to that kit so I don't have to carry a mug of water across campus from the nearest water fountain. Yeah, definitely need a water bottle. But all in all, I think I'm pretty much set.

Suck it, Guild.

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