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Frequently Asked Questions

08 April 201208:43AMlife

It's been a hell of a week. Between the first gigantic assignment of the year, and Prosh, and me getting a goddamn cold, and having two shifts at work this weekend, I ended up missing all of this morning. As in, sleeping for about 14 straight ours missing. As in, never saw the AM of Sunday, April the 8th 2012 missing.

But that's fine.

Today I am going to answer some questions. They are questions that I am actually frequently asked, and I'm getting bored of making up a new answer each time, so I need to sit down and formulate some well-reasoned and coherent ones. Or, as close to well-reasoned and coherent as I can come while doped up on Codral.

What do you even do?
B.A. Double major. Communications and media studies, Linguistics.

What does that even mean?
Communications is like high school media, only more in-depth, and broader. We go into media theory, and study journalism and game design and professional writing as well as film production. It's fun. It lets me create interesting things.

Linguistics is the study of language. Yes, it's a real science, no matter how much physical scientists like to scoff. I learn to use phonetic transcription, and look for recursive structures in sentences, and other fun stuff. You should try it sometime.

So what kind of job can you get with that?
Well, flipping burgers obviously.

Ha ha, but seriously.
Hopefully, anything in journalism, film, publishing, TV, and maybe even stuff like web design or game making. More realistically, what it does is gives me an excuse to make some cool stuff, and learn useful skills (video editing, professional writing styles, image making, and wobsite making come to mind) and then gives me a bit of paper, which between them will hopefully open some doors. I console myself with the fact that of my alternatives - those being Classics/ancient history and astronomy - this is actually the most likely to get a job. Go figure.

(Of course, what I really want to do is have daring adventures, but noooo. I have to have a "job" and get a "career" and have a "family" and a "mortgage". Stupid reality.)

Whoa, Rocky? Is that your real name?
Kind of. It's short for Rockwell. I'm not sure at what point I started introducing myself to people as Rocky instead of Rockwell. I think it was sometime during my first year of uni, though it might be as recently as this year. I'm not sure why, either. It's not as if it engenders any fewer awkward conversations about my name. (Seriously, never talk to someone about their unusual name. It makes them feel awkward, and it's really boring after the zillionth time.)

What's the story behind that?
That is a secret, guarded by a sect of monks high in the Himalayas. In order to earn it, you must pass the six ancient rites, unite the amulet of destiny, and win the heart of a fair maiden. Only then will you be deemed worthy to enter the Temple of the Name, and do battle with the High Master on a single pillar of glass suspended over the vent of an active volcano. He will whisper in your ear the the secret only on his deathbed, and from that day forth you and you alone may bear the burden of The Name as the new High Master, until someone slays you and tosses you into the lava in your turn. Still want to know?

Screw you, I'm not telling.

I couldn't find you on Facebook.
That's not a question. The reason you couldn't find me is because I don't have it.

Why don't you have Facebook?
See here.

When are you going to get Facebook again?
Never. Barring that, at the point where likes become legal tender and parlimentary elections are an app. Even then probably still no.

I think that's everything?
Cool. Maybe I'll sticky this post to the top bar. Y'know, for future reference.

You do that.
I will.

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