rockym93 dot net

archive · tags · feed

Dead Again Redux: Lessons Learned.

07 September 201205:31AMlife

or: How I died repeatedly on day one of HvZ.

This post is about Humans vs. Zombies, the campus wide game of extreme tag. But you probably knew that already.

Round 1, 2011.
"Oh hey Morgan. Whereabouts are you?"
"Down by the stairs at the library."
"Cool. I'll meet you there. Uh, seen any Zombies around?"
"Um, nooo."*
"Awesome."

So I locked my bike up, and headed down to the bridge outside the library, Maverick in hand. It was 9am on the first day, and I knew my chances of seeing a zombie this early in the game were pretty remote.

"Oh hey guys, what's going-"

And then I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Brains."

"Well shit."

Lesson learned: Trust nobody

Round 2, 2011.

I thought I had the jump on him. It was down near the Business school, early on Monday. Not exactly a fertile hunting ground, so he must've had a class. I got cocky. With this one zed neutralised, I'd have clear run to Economics, and I could have a bit of fun on the side. As he spotted me, I raised my gun with a grin.

"Keep your distance, undead scum. I have six shots, and there's only one of-"

And, far too late, I heard the scuffling of feet behind me.

"Tagged."

"Aw, crap."

Lesson learned: always watch your back.

Round 1, 2012.

I don't remember what we were talking about. It was something which seemed pretty riveting at the time. I think it started when she wanted to see my gun. I was pretty pumped at making it to 5pm on the first day, and feeling confident in my sweet twin pistols, and I was sure that nobody would hang around on campus just for the sake of a tag. So we strolled, and we chatted, as the sun set across the oval.

I don't even think he had to run.

"Tagged, mate."

"Damn."

And then we kept walking, and she apologised the entire way to the bike rack. I'm still certain she was only partly joking.

Lesson learned: constant vigilance.

Round 2, 2012.

Five minutes.

Five.

Minutes.

At least I put up a fight this time. I saw the two them rounding a corner out of arts. We both froze, for just a fraction of a second. Then I had my guns up, sending one shot sailing right past him, and another into the ground in front of him.

The problem with a pair of single shots is that... well, you only get two shots.

I ran. Straight into a courtyard, with no way out.

The end came pretty swiftly after that.

Lesson learned: Ditch everything, and run.

Maybe next year will be my year. Maybe then I'll get to see the cold harsh light of Tuesday morning.

Only time will tell.

*Apparently I missed this glaring sarcasm.

< Big dumb ideas More hypotheses >