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More hypotheses

14 September 201206:35AMlife

In a stunning coincidence, I'm looking after someone's house again almost exactly 12 months after I last looked after someone else's house. But this time there's a twist.

This time I'm not alone.


Yes. It's me and 4-ish of my high school friends looking after another high school friend's house while he and his parents are away. So I figured that like last time I'd make some predictions about how events will play out, and check back in a month to see if they're supported by enormous piles of gooey, delicious experience.

Hypothesis 1: That living with a bunch of friends will be wack, yo.
This is probably what interests me the most. I'm seriously not sure how living with the same guys I regularly hang out with will affect the group dynamic. I predict the first few nights, 'specially since they're a weekend, will be constant hilarity and joy, but then by about Tuesday of the first week the cold hard reality of having to cook every night and sharing a bathroom will sink in. Joviality will become hostility. Friends will become enemies. And James' parents will return to their house been knee deep in blood and viscera.

(If sitcoms have taught me anything, it's that moving in with friends is never a good idea. I'd really like this one to be proven wrong.)

Hypothesis 2: This isn't going to be nearly as much fun as we all think.
This ties in a bit with #1. We're all really pumped about this because it sounds like it's going to be super fun, but really it's just the same as living at home. Only without parents, we're going to have to do all the work. This will come as a shock to many, including me, that stuff like vacuuming and putting the bins out doesn't necessarily happen by itself, and also, there's nobody there to remind us to do this stuff. So more work, less all night LAN parties.

Hypothesis 3: "Where's the goddamn milk?"
Let's get specific. I predict we will run out of food at least once, possibly twice, before learning that food does not grow in the fridge. At least one person will use the last of the milk and put the empty bottle back in the fridge. At least one person will get frustrated and buy their own milk(/cereal/biscuits/whatever...), label it, and insist that nobody else use it. This will end badly for all involved.

Hypothesis 4: "Where's the goddamn internet?"
This house will contain at least 5, possibly more, highly internet addicted individuals. I'm not sure of the specifics of the broadband plan there, but I'm betting that 4-5 times its normal usage will probably blow it up and get it throttled. Assuming it gets throttled, and not billed for excess usage. Because otherwise we're going to be on the hook for a fairly significant bill...

Hypothesis 5: "Has anyone fed the goddamn cat?"
The cat will be forgotten at least once. Immediately following that, the cat will be fed several times more often than it needs to be as everyone tries to avoid forgetting it again.

Hypothesis 6: "Where are the goddamn keys?"
Someone will lose their keys at some point and be locked out. Either this, or (since there are only 2 sets of keys) someone will need to get in, and nobody with keys will be around, and they'll either wait outside or call someone. Or just wander off back to uni.

Hypothesis 7: "What have you done? You're doing it wrong."
There will be at least one, probably more, amusing clash of habits or methods. Ways of cooking is pretty much a given for this, especially stuff that 'everyone knows' but does slightly differently. I'm thinking more along the lines of like, where you put towels or something.

Hypothesis 8: "Is anyone going to get that?"
During the entire 4-ish week stay, nobody will ever answer the house phone.

Hypothesis 9: "What is that smell?"
At least one person will forget to wash their clothes, or forget to take them out of the wash so they get that weird fusty smell. They will then be teased mercilessly for it.

Hypothesis 10: Everything will probably be okay.
Despite all the stuff that will almost certainly go wrong, everything will be fine. We probably won't end up hating each other, we probably won't break anything, and while we probably will make some mess, we'll clean it all up. We'll also probably learn a little bit more about each other than we ever wanted to.

yes i know that none of these are properly formulated scientific hypotheses. you can just SHUT UP.

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