## Continuous Consumption

##### 21 July 201602:26PMthings

So I was walking home from the train station the other day, just drinking my choc milk and minding my own business when I had an idea. Always a dangerous phrase to hear, I know.

Inspired in part by the alt-text on this xkcd, I started to wonder if I could get trapped in some kind of continuous energy loop. At what rate would I have to consume my nutrient rich slurry to precisely cancel out the energy I was burning on my walk home?

My purple drink of choice contains 364kJ per 100mL, and apparently one carton contains approximately 25% of my daily energy needs. Given that I do more in one day than just walk to and from the train station four times, I think we can safely say say that my walk home comes out at a net energy surplus.

(I think we can also fairly safely say that this stuff is pretty bad for you, but I'm going to keep drinking it. Possibly, if the maths comes out right, forever.)

Now I need to figure out what my burn rate is. For that, rather than trusting the eighty bazillion diet websites that Google turns up, I think I'm going to trust Wolfram Alpha.

Wolfram wants to know my speed. Which would be a tricky to figure out, except that Google is a massive creep, and is kind of tracking where I walk. A little bit of a dig through Maps gives me a moderately clean bit of data for my walk home. Apparently I walked 1.3km in 17 minutes, making my speed 4.59km/h, which according to Wikipedia, is slightly lower than the human average.

With that speed, and a little personal information sprinkled on top for good measure, Wolfram reckons I burn 34kJ per minute.

In an very satisfying alignment of numbers, that's almost exactly 10mL of milk per minute of walking. The full 600mL carton, then, would power about an hour of walking at my regular pace. And that, in turn, comes out to be pretty close to five kilometres.

And that, my friends, means that one carton of mocha-flavoured milk is almost exactly one egg.

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SinaFri Jul 22 08:01:14 2016I reckon maybe the lower than average walking speed is to do with all the recent pokemon go-ing :P